Poop on your sensus ad inveniam

Porcupine Tree and Nine Inch Nails. Oh man, when are they gonna release their new material.

The most powerful agent affecting our minds is...our mind. Our emotions rule us and they rule the planet. Your emotions define you, your human software and in return, your human hardware. Emotionally distressed patients have a greater likelihood of suffering from general weakness and diseases. Anyways, we cannot control most of our emotions, they make us feel like rats in an experimental cage: reactions to external environment/stimuli.

Disconnected

Cue Music.

The weekend of colours and I was at home, maybe the first time during Holi in the last 3 years. Mom's cooking, a marriage anniversary and a few odd jobs; was fun. Had been missing family and friends back home. It is one of our idiosyncrasies that we connect best with the folks we grew up with, but even so, people change. All the time. Some incident or jealousy or fear or ambition, it's a good thing to change yourself. Keep on reinventing and trying out new things. It is equally balanced to assume that darkness is the absence of light, and we all return back to our vices, at some point or the other.

At college, miles away from the cocoon of home and my hometown, meeting new people is..normal. Different human beings with different trains of thoughts, some mentalities downright outrageous, some thought provoking and some, aligned with yours. As social animals, making connections is natural to us, though some of your might consider yourself to be a lone soldier. Sure, we're all slightly unique and that's beautiful. People Change.

I carry an assumption/expectation. I want all my loved ones, friends, family, pets to have an upward growth curve. Being more sensitive to others. Doing right by themselves. Overcome your issues. Disciplined. Magnanimous. Not to stand by dishonesty. Humanitarian. A sense of purpose. Being warm, and genteel humans. The sense of brotherhood. Frequent reality checks and balances. Healthy, mentally and physically. Qualities I want to ingrain within myself too, and others, as an overall sense of positivism and vitality.

2016? 2016

Since this is a personal blog, I'd like to keep it personal, with a ton of mistakes, repetitive distress signals and bits of my personality sprayed about like glitter made out of excrement. (I really hope shitty glitter doesn't exist :O )

2016 has been terribly wonderful year for me. I really don't care about the actors who died or the politicians elected. Yes, some terrible conflicts and crashing of several economies, but leaving the world aside, I, an infinitesimal speck of a world so large yet so small in the grand scale of things, had a good year.

Fun times and sighs

I turned 21 and realised that Star Wars is actually pretty good. Episodes 4, 5 and 6. I shall never forgive the time lost behind Episode 1.
What struck me are tons of facts: underlying insecurities, terrible with money issues, socially awkwardness and trying to be extra pleasing. Well, nobody tell you how to live this goddamn life, so we all gotta learn it the hard way. Still, the negatives aren't the only thing I caught onto. I figured out a ton of things and many new skills (most under construction), including cooking, walking for miles and an inherent love towards certain aspects. My depth of emotional perception has had an explosive increase, all thanks to the heartbreaks, falls, breakdowns and other failures I've experienced.

But then again, reconnecting with lost classmates, meeting the voices on the other end of calls, running into the jerks you disliked way back in class 9 but realising how stupid you were, and a ton of other thing; I've learnt the importance of communication. Goddamn, a word not pronounced properly or a feeling not stressed out enough can cost a great deal of time and emotional stress. Go talk things out, numero uno. (The awkwardness stills is painful, but okay.)

An Aspect of what I learned can be beautifully summarised in this Quote:

"Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this, you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself." from How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)

Nobody will teach you how to live this goddamn life

Okay, midway into my end-semesters, screwing up grades and shitting out cheesy blog posts. Why so? IDK, I don't have anything better to do this evening (Finished the first season of Rick and Morty (ARGH SO GOOD) Well, I'm no dot-com millionaire or a corporate hotshot, not even a normal functional adult. Just a normal undergrad at this point. But there have been some things I've noticed in my short, normal life. School has been a terrible

Simple

You need some Chopin with this, might make sense. Click this.

Is defect a vice?

The fact that we are all defective, and so many years of (pretty unworthy) education, yet, nobody ever taught us how to love ourselves (and why it is so important) is a bitter pill to swallow. Maybe we, as humans, are really bad at expressing ourselves or maybe we are actually incapable of expressing ourselves. However, art: movies, video games, posters, paintings, drawings, blogs, music, etc. ; these are the channels through which our thoughts can take shape, mould themselves, and take the prerequisite placeholder position of the template created by artists, because ultimately, we all are bad at expressing ourselves; it's an inherent  defect within us.

Ponies are nice, but BoJack Horseman is badass.

Personally, that's not so gloomy, but it feels substandard and inferior to realize the burning fact

Drowning

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Drowing away to the chemical romance

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Quora Questions: 2 / Throwback to bored days

Qs. What is the greatest wealth of any individual in his / her life?

This is a personal perspective, but I feel the greatest wealth of any individual isn't a single item or a single feature.
I'd like to define this in a hierarchy (or Levels)

The Perspective. Damn.

1.  Time.
2. Yourself
3. How you connect with others

Time: Our time as living beings is short. We grow

All shots fired

It's over. You're 21, loaded with pocket money, that amazing road-trip, and you've got a couple of more days before college  attendance will matter once again. You, along with everyone else, decides to get a crate of beer, assortment of other liqueurs, with American fast food and of course, ounces of Mary Jane

The Lifestyle you ordered is currently out of stock

'Atelophobia is the fear of not being good enough or imperfection. Atelophobia is classified as an anxiety disorder that can affect relationships and makes the afflicted person feel like everything they do is wrong'- Wikipedia


Insecurities. These define us, change us, and stick with us like emotional parasites, and to think about it, we spend our entire lives trying to fix/adjust/ignoring these traits. Fixing your hair even when it's completely set, giving unsolicited advice to almost everyone you know, attention seeking, forcing  macho-rough-tough behaviour onto others, narcissism, a constant search to boost your self-esteem, bragging and being a humble bragger, image-crafting; its all about your insecurities. Advertisers cash in on this. Yes, you read that right, advertisers cash in your insecurities by manipulating and even creating them. Beauty products are marketed to women as a way  of looking prettier and thus be loved more, and even be the center of attention cuz, beauty = attention, right? Tools and hardware are marketed to man as a way of reliability and strength. Beer is marketed to have funnnnnnn and be the centre of  Universe attention, say, at a party. Goddamn. Some Bodyspray commercial show how using their products gets you to be more friendlier (like so molecules of bodyspray can mask the skeletons you have in your cupboard, Ha !) or Beer commercials which show some over-the-top-superb OMG AAWEZUM party with your friends, girls, helicopters, BEING BATSHIT DRUNK  more girls, titties, more girls, sports cars, more beers, girls, girls, girls, PARTIES !, more fun, friends, dancing, cars, friends, girls - Drink Tuborg.

(Source: Tumblr)

This is our

-Quote-

Eat. Sleep. Generic. Repeat.

Was watching a CGP grey video about how ideas are like a virus, which reminded me about the film Inception. An idea is like a virus, and once it sticks in your head, it gets hard to remove it. It replicates itself in your mind, and you share it via social media, its like sneezing out a flu; you spread the virulent idea.

As I lay on my dormroom bed thinking about this nice rad idea (the video was a virus itself), I was wondering about exurb1a's videos, especially "Oh hello, you're alive" and "and nothing can evre ruin this". These two were one of the most realistic things I've seen on Youtube, and it got me thinking about a hell lot of things.

Its all so fucking repetitive. Everything we do has be done with such high accuracy of similarity that is feels all to well-scripted. Like. everything. From being born, to growing up to adapting to your environment to going to school to discovering new people to hitting puberty to becoming a teen to falling in love to being fucking bored all the time to all that we do as humans till we die. If the events aren't repetitive, the way we experience and react to things are crazily similar. I mean, yes, we're human, and there exists a high degree of similarity among us, but huh? Weren't our lives supposed to be unique and individuality be worshiped like a massive God of talent?

A Shell of mass-manufactured emotions and urges? (Source: Tumblr)

Guess what, We aren't. Most of us aren't. We're just part of this gigantic herd

Addicts at my hostel or Why I am trying to stop judging other people

Everyone is hooked on something (or someone): alcohol, technology, love, sleeping, cheating with different lovers, etc. Some have habits which are deemed by society as "ill-habits". While the habits might be really bad (health-wise), it doesn't make the user bad. He/she just might be a good person with bad habits.

Someday, we'll find out a temporary solution. Maybe. (Picture: Southern Avenue Lake with Tashi and Analina)

Random Thoughts on Growing up

Read this post while listening to Hero by Family of the Year (Link). Experiment with it, it just might feel good.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a question that I do not really have a firm answer to. We're all lost and guided my our thoughts, experiences and voices. I really don't know, and won't ever find out, even at the age of 45. I guess life gets us at the end. We all get lucky and unlucky, we blame it on ourselves or on us, but ultimately, we change. Its the subtle changes which accumulate and build up. We have all began as babies, seeking food, love, milk, appreciation from others. Maybe Dad was too busy working or Mom wasn't paying attention, or maybe they did it purposely not to pamper us way too much, and that little change brings forth the plethora of confusion, because at that  point, you disconnect yourself from your parents. You become an individual, and (maybe) that's where you try to find what you like and dislike.

The greatest thing with the internet is that we get to know about the opinions of a varied number of people. The most irritating thing is that we get to know the opinions of everyone including you neighbour and her pet hamster. The internet bog us down with its opinions, the society in the form of friends, lovers, neighbours, relatives, gossip-hungry men and women, and Mr. I-don't-give-a-shit; from Television, adverts you see along the flyover and your way to school; everyone is trying to win you their way. It's a mess. Confusion is a part of everything when you're a kid. Sigh.

Sometimes we just.
(Courtesy: National Geographic) 

Puberty is the coolest price you pay to yourself. Its like the body update which changes everything. And high school, where you start fancying the people. But the influence of the advertisement and society stays, and it creates really unhealthy weird mindsets, and these are anchored with us till the end of our lives. Personally, I used to think things were stagnant and nothing good can come from anything. Although I've changed my views on things drastically, there are times I go back to the comfortable, pessimist view of things. Why? because change is hard. Its like procrastination, I prefer to change later, till some real life smacks me in the face, leaves me helpless and lost, and must figure out things - change. A tiny change, and these accumulate and build up "character" or "person" or
"human" or "ego" or "attitude" or bullshit-lack-of-words we have for individuality. Pain changes us, and it creates humans. Its up to our judgement whether they're created into beautiful or ugly beings.

What I experienced engineering from a private college: Part 1

This was the answer to a Quora question I had posted some time back:

Question: 

What are some bitter truths about engineering in India?/Why education system of B.Tech. in India is so depressing?

Answer:

Most students learn what to pursue in life AFTER their B.tech degree.The major reason for joining an engineering college is: To have an easy academic life and to get a well paying job with the least effort applied.
That is not how it works.

Typical Engineering meme. Sigh,

The Indian Engineering system is flawed and even, outflawed. Except for the top institutes, the quality of graduates mass-produced is simply appalling. In fact, a large percentage of the engineering undergraduates are unemployable, and this rate has been toppling down at break-neck speeds. 

There are lots of ways to analyze the problem. Ill set the main characters as Society, The Student and the College.

Calcutta Calling '15-'16

Laziness is the source of all evil. Seriously.

Calcutta winters are really comfortable. As a soothing 16°C, a jacket is suffice to avoid catching the cold. Less winter wear reciprocates to more travelling ease ! I know, stupid logic. Well, clothes or no clothes, home is always the desired destination. Home is literally where the heart is, and I miss home. Not really, but at least the cool/weird/awkward people (dogs and carts included).

so many vehicles going whroom

My hometown, Calcutta isn't far from weirdness. I woke up and heard a bridge had collapsed on a large number of folks. Its really sad, and this isn't the first time its happened. And the most ironical part is, we as Calcuttans pride our city with bridges, the magestic Howrah Bridge, the Vidyasagar Setu and the newer Nivedita Setu, the first being a monument of British engineering. And fucking flyovers fall out of skies. Sigh, the poor souls who got hurt, my wishes are with them.

Still, infrastructure back home isn't that shitty, its okay by Indian standards.

Past-Future Love-hate relationship

so damn true (courtesy: Sarah's Scribbles)

Sorry for the hiatus, I had my exams and a major wedding to attend. See, there I go on, blaming myself for not updating this blog. Incorrigible.

There are things in the past I've done that fill me with regret even after such a long period of time, things done in the recent, not-so-recent, and not-at-all-recent past. Bad choices, evil pranks, repetition of the same mistakes, over and over again. Still, I don't hate my past-self, it wasn't too crappy.

So the present is all we have, improve, improvise and redo. Well, things  aren't that shitty always, and I'm trying to find ways to beat the constant hum of boredom. I've been trying, and maybe a bit too hard, investing time and money ( I bought a new bicycle, woot hoot !) Clearly, there's this materialistic thought which thinks "More books = more knowledge" which would be true, if the effort was there. Instead, there's a growing pile of backlog of entertainment and academics. Still, the little road trips, the little time spend with the people who matter, the silly homework and assignments completed before time. These little insignificant bits do tend to pile up, in the positive sense.

Lets see, I;ll let you know if things get better off.


  

Why I detest Socially Networking.

I was never a fan of the internet. We've been told to steer away from dating sites, pornographic sites, not to give away our phone numbers to completely strangers. There is a reason too. First, most humans are strange animals. Yes, we're animals and we've evolved like the rest of the other inhabitants of Mother Earth. Netizens can misuse you contact information into strange and bizarre ways like uploading it on a public sphere where you can be bombarded by phone calls, prank messages, your personal information can be disastrously misused, online bullying and trolling, et cetra.

Glaucomating by social networking 

But despite the short comings, the internet is basically network if computers and you'll find a variety of human beings, and on socially interacting with them will expose to the different cultures, the way people live, different tastes in art. In fact, you may find several inspirational and like minded folks, several of them (if they are of your age) will be struggling through life and its different struggles.

Social networking is unquestionably, occupies a very important slice of teenage and adult lives. But rapidly, it is becoming the only method of social interaction. What's the point of social networking on the internet if you have extreme shyness to communicate with the person face-to-face?