"" Bleh and Awe: 2016

Saturday, 19 November 2016

Nobody will teach you how to live this goddamn life

Okay, midway into my end-semesters, screwing up grades and shitting out cheesy blog posts. Why so? IDK, I don't have anything better to do this evening (Finished the first season of Rick and Morty (ARGH SO GOOD) Well, I'm no dot-com millionaire or a corporate hotshot, not even a normal functional adult. Just a normal undergrad at this point. But there have been some things I've noticed in my short, normal life. School has been a terrible

Thursday, 20 October 2016


You need some Chopin with this, might make sense. Click this.

Is defect a vice?
The fact that we are all defective, and so many years of (pretty unworthy) education, yet, nobody ever taught us how to love ourselves (and why it is so important) is a bitter pill to swallow. Maybe we, as humans, are really bad at expressing ourselves or maybe we are actually incapable of expressing ourselves. However, art: movies, video games, posters, paintings, drawings, blogs, music, etc. ; these are the channels through which our thoughts can take shape, mould themselves, and take the prerequisite placeholder position of the template created by artists, because ultimately, we all are bad at expressing ourselves; it's an inherent  defect within us.
Ponies are nice, but BoJack Horseman is badass.
Personally, that's not so gloomy, but it feels substandard and inferior to realize the burning fact

Tuesday, 20 September 2016


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Drowing away to the chemical romance

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Monday, 25 July 2016

Quora Questions: 2 / Throwback to bored days

Qs. What is the greatest wealth of any individual in his / her life?

This is a personal perspective, but I feel the greatest wealth of any individual isn't a single item or a single feature.
I'd like to define this in a hierarchy (or Levels)
The Perspective. Damn.
1.  Time.
2. Yourself
3. How you connect with others

Time: Our time as living beings is short. We grow

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

All shots fired

It's over. You're 21, loaded with pocket money, that amazing road-trip, and you've got a couple of more days before college  attendance will matter once again. You, along with everyone else, decides to get a crate of beer, assortment of other liqueurs, with American fast food and of course, ounces of Mary Jane

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

The Lifestyle you ordered is currently out of stock

'Atelophobia is the fear of not being good enough or imperfection. Atelophobia is classified as an anxiety disorder that can affect relationships and makes the afflicted person feel like everything they do is wrong'- Wikipedia

Insecurities. These define us, change us, and stick with us like emotional parasites, and to think about it, we spend our entire lives trying to fix/adjust/ignoring these traits. Fixing your hair even when it's completely set, giving unsolicited advice to almost everyone you know, attention seeking, forcing  macho-rough-tough behaviour onto others, narcissism, a constant search to boost your self-esteem, bragging and being a humble bragger, image-crafting; its all about your insecurities. Advertisers cash in on this. Yes, you read that right, advertisers cash in your insecurities by manipulating and even creating them. Beauty products are marketed to women as a way  of looking prettier and thus be loved more, and even be the center of attention cuz, beauty = attention, right? Tools and hardware are marketed to man as a way of reliability and strength. Beer is marketed to have funnnnnnn and be the centre of  Universe attention, say, at a party. Goddamn. Some Bodyspray commercial show how using their products gets you to be more friendlier (like so molecules of bodyspray can mask the skeletons you have in your cupboard, Ha !) or Beer commercials which show some over-the-top-superb OMG AAWEZUM party with your friends, girls, helicopters, BEING BATSHIT DRUNK  more girls, titties, more girls, sports cars, more beers, girls, girls, girls, PARTIES !, more fun, friends, dancing, cars, friends, girls - Drink Tuborg.
(Source: Tumblr)

This is our

Thursday, 23 June 2016

Eat. Sleep. Generic. Repeat.

Was watching a CGP grey video about how ideas are like a virus, which reminded me about the film Inception. An idea is like a virus, and once it sticks in your head, it gets hard to remove it. It replicates itself in your mind, and you share it via social media, its like sneezing out a flu; you spread the virulent idea.

As I lay on my dormroom bed thinking about this nice rad idea (the video was a virus itself), I was wondering about exurb1a's videos, especially "Oh hello, you're alive" and "and nothing can evre ruin this". These two were one of the most realistic things I've seen on Youtube, and it got me thinking about a hell lot of things.

Its all so fucking repetitive. Everything we do has be done with such high accuracy of similarity that is feels all to well-scripted. Like. everything. From being born, to growing up to adapting to your environment to going to school to discovering new people to hitting puberty to becoming a teen to falling in love to being fucking bored all the time to all that we do as humans till we die. If the events aren't repetitive, the way we experience and react to things are crazily similar. I mean, yes, we're human, and there exists a high degree of similarity among us, but huh? Weren't our lives supposed to be unique and individuality be worshiped like a massive God of talent?
A Shell of mass-manufactured emotions and urges? (Source: Tumblr)

Guess what, We aren't. Most of us aren't. We're just part of this gigantic herd

Monday, 20 June 2016

Wanderlust at Vizag

Los Angeles, "The City of Angels" is a beautiful city. It has beautiful beaches and beautiful mountains, and, it is my dream location to visit. Well, this summer, Vizag or Visakhapatnam was on my cards, and it was a hell of a place. As the title holder of  "The City of Destiny", Vizag never disappointed. Beaches, mountains and forests, this city was fun to travel and explore.

 Never stop exploring,
(Picture: RK Beach road with Sougata and Bhaskar)

Saturday, 18 June 2016

Addicts at my hostel or Why I am trying to stop judging other people

Everyone is hooked on something (or someone): alcohol, technology, love, sleeping, cheating with different lovers, etc. Some have habits which are deemed by society as "ill-habits". While the habits might be really bad (health-wise), it doesn't make the user bad. He/she just might be a good person with bad habits.
Someday, we'll find out a temporary solution. Maybe. (Picture: Southern Avenue Lake with Tashi and Analina)

Monday, 11 April 2016

Random Thoughts on Growing up

Read this post while listening to Hero by Family of the Year (Link). Experiment with it, it just might feel good.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a question that I do not really have a firm answer to. We're all lost and guided my our thoughts, experiences and voices. I really don't know, and won't ever find out, even at the age of 45. I guess life gets us at the end. We all get lucky and unlucky, we blame it on ourselves or on us, but ultimately, we change. Its the subtle changes which accumulate and build up. We have all began as babies, seeking food, love, milk, appreciation from others. Maybe Dad was too busy working or Mom wasn't paying attention, or maybe they did it purposely not to pamper us way too much, and that little change brings forth the plethora of confusion, because at that  point, you disconnect yourself from your parents. You become an individual, and (maybe) that's where you try to find what you like and dislike.

The greatest thing with the internet is that we get to know about the opinions of a varied number of people. The most irritating thing is that we get to know the opinions of everyone including you neighbour and her pet hamster. The internet bog us down with its opinions, the society in the form of friends, lovers, neighbours, relatives, gossip-hungry men and women, and Mr. I-don't-give-a-shit; from Television, adverts you see along the flyover and your way to school; everyone is trying to win you their way. It's a mess. Confusion is a part of everything when you're a kid. Sigh.
Sometimes we just.
(Courtesy: National Geographic

Puberty is the coolest price you pay to yourself. Its like the body update which changes everything. And high school, where you start fancying the people. But the influence of the advertisement and society stays, and it creates really unhealthy weird mindsets, and these are anchored with us till the end of our lives. Personally, I used to think things were stagnant and nothing good can come from anything. Although I've changed my views on things drastically, there are times I go back to the comfortable, pessimist view of things. Why? because change is hard. Its like procrastination, I prefer to change later, till some real life smacks me in the face, leaves me helpless and lost, and must figure out things - change. A tiny change, and these accumulate and build up "character" or "person" or
"human" or "ego" or "attitude" or bullshit-lack-of-words we have for individuality. Pain changes us, and it creates humans. Its up to our judgement whether they're created into beautiful or ugly beings.

Saturday, 2 April 2016

Cooking @ Hostel

Last Saturday, we decided enough was enough. The mess food sucks on a general level, and saturday doesn't even make sense.  I'm sorry, but digesting bhindi+Parwal (Lady's finger+Pointed Gourd) is a Herculean task especially on a weekend. So we decided to cook our own dinners.

First, we were 5 guys, with little or no knowledge about cooking. Youtube came to the rescue, and we decided to cook eggs. Shivam actually knew how to cook, so he the the 'Leader of the pack', while the rest of us where lost sheep, bleating away to hunger (and confusion).

Zee, Shivam and I visited the market to get the vegetables, spices, butter, cheese. And we eagerly awaited till it was 8 o'clock. I was in the chopping department, and I am no Jamie Oliver, so I try my best to get clean, neat, and time-consuming slices or onions and tomatoes (in the process I end up fudging them up, but its okay). Sougata popped out of nowhere (he's got some magic sixth sense towards food being cooked). We decided to get things checked.

Friday, 1 April 2016

What I experienced engineering from a private college: Part 1

This was the answer to a Quora question I had posted some time back:

What are some bitter truths about engineering in India?/Why education system of B.Tech. in India is so depressing?


Most students learn what to pursue in life AFTER their B.tech degree.The major reason for joining an engineering college is: To have an easy academic life and to get a well paying job with the least effort applied.
That is not how it works.
Typical Engineering meme. Sigh,

The Indian Engineering system is flawed and even, outflawed. Except for the top institutes, the quality of graduates mass-produced is simply appalling. In fact, a large percentage of the engineering undergraduates are unemployable, and this rate has been toppling down at break-neck speeds. 

There are lots of ways to analyze the problem. Ill set the main characters as Society, The Student and the College.

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Ode to dead blogs

Writer's block affects every writer, from the amateur to the professional. Sometimes we accomplish a piece of art, and in a fit of rage or despair, flush it down the drain. There have been several of these blogs I miss, blogs which had tremendous potential to be great, and blogs on the verge of being great. And I had the good luck to read them when they were alive, when they existed.

Birth of Art: observation.
Courtsey- Seto.Wal
An artist isn't defined by your academic degrees. Everybody has an artist in them, and like artist, everybody expresses their emotions , views and feeling in their own individual ways. Love, Lust, Wanderlust, Empathy, Pain, Melancholy, Passion, Affection, Rage, Trust, Mistrust, Disgust, Greed, Terror, Loathing, Amazement- all the feelings encompassing are expressed by every individual individually. Some of us have embraced the idea of expressing ourselves using a diary, or a log. The Web based diaries are Blogs (weB LOGS). And hell, like in every field, there are some people who excel at expressing themselves, hitting the right notes, and hitting there it induces the emotions and raw feelings.

I love blogs because, if somebody is good at writing or trying to better themselves, they have the courage to publish it to the internet to be criticized by a large number of people. Going though blogs feel like browsing through somebody's Go-Pro®: personal experiences which are fun and enriching to watch.

Calcutta Calling '15-'16

Laziness is the source of all evil. Seriously.

Calcutta winters are really comfortable. As a soothing 16°C, a jacket is suffice to avoid catching the cold. Less winter wear reciprocates to more travelling ease ! I know, stupid logic. Well, clothes or no clothes, home is always the desired destination. Home is literally where the heart is, and I miss home. Not really, but at least the cool/weird/awkward people (dogs and carts included).

so many vehicles going whroom
My hometown, Calcutta isn't far from weirdness. I woke up and heard a bridge had collapsed on a large number of folks. Its really sad, and this isn't the first time its happened. And the most ironical part is, we as Calcuttans pride our city with bridges, the magestic Howrah Bridge, the Vidyasagar Setu and the newer Nivedita Setu, the first being a monument of British engineering. And fucking flyovers fall out of skies. Sigh, the poor souls who got hurt, my wishes are with them.

Still, infrastructure back home isn't that shitty, its okay by Indian standards.

Wednesday, 2 March 2016

Past-Future Love-hate relationship

so damn true (courtesy: Sarah's Scribbles)
Sorry for the hiatus, I had my exams and a major wedding to attend. See, there I go on, blaming myself for not updating this blog. Incorrigible.

There are things in the past I've done that fill me with regret even after such a long period of time, things done in the recent, not-so-recent, and not-at-all-recent past. Bad choices, evil pranks, repetition of the same mistakes, over and over again. Still, I don't hate my past-self, it wasn't too crappy.

So the present is all we have, improve, improvise and redo. Well, things  aren't that shitty always, and I'm trying to find ways to beat the constant hum of boredom. I've been trying, and maybe a bit too hard, investing time and money ( I bought a new bicycle, woot hoot !) Clearly, there's this materialistic thought which thinks "More books = more knowledge" which would be true, if the effort was there. Instead, there's a growing pile of backlog of entertainment and academics. Still, the little road trips, the little time spend with the people who matter, the silly homework and assignments completed before time. These little insignificant bits do tend to pile up, in the positive sense.

Lets see, I;ll let you know if things get better off.